Maternal Mental Health: Trusting Yourself in the Early Days

Maternal Mental Health Week feels like an important moment to share this.

When I look back to when Ivy was born, it was one of the happiest times of my life. We had waited such a long time for her - five years of trying to conceive - and all I wanted to do was hold her.

And yet, after just a few days or weeks, we - like so many parents - started hearing things like: “Don’t hold her too much, she’ll get used to it.”

I remember thinking, get used to what? Being comforted and loved? Surely that’s the whole point.

But as a first-time parent, it’s not always easy to trust yourself over the voices around you - especially when those voices seem to be ‘in the know’.

Many of these messages come from well-meaning friends, family, and even healthcare professionals - people who were likely told the same things themselves.

But the reality is, sleep isn’t a core part of medical training for GPs or many healthcare professionals. And a lot of this advice comes from a much older way of thinking about parenting - when children were expected to be seen and not heard.

When the Noise Gets Loud

In those early days, you are already navigating so much - physically, emotionally, mentally.

And when you’re constantly hearing conflicting advice, it can quietly chip away at your confidence.

You start to question yourself. You wonder if you’re doing too much… or not enough. You second-guess instincts that would otherwise come naturally.

For many mums, this is where emotional overwhelm begins.

Motherhood brings joy and challenges in equal measure. And while some level of anxiety or overwhelm can be part of the adjustment, it can also grow into something heavier - especially when sleep deprivation is added into the mix.

When your baby isn’t settling, when nights feel long and unpredictable, it’s not just about being tired. It affects your mood, your patience, and your ability to cope day-to-day.

Trust That Instinct

How much you hold your baby should be entirely your own decision.

A decision based on your instincts and your baby’s needs - not on outdated or unfounded advice.

Responding to your baby, comforting them, holding them close - this is not something that creates “bad habits”.

It creates connection. It creates safety. It supports both your baby’s development and your relationship with them.

And just as importantly, it can support your mental wellbeing too.

Sleep Support That Works With You, Not Against You

One of the biggest stressors for new parents is sleep - or the lack of it.

When sleep feels like an ongoing struggle, everything can feel heavier.

This is where gentle, responsive approaches to sleep can make such a difference.

Rather than rigid routines or leaving babies to cry, gentle sleep support focuses on understanding your baby’s cues and working with them - in a way that feels aligned with your values.

Because support shouldn’t add pressure; it should reduce it.

And when sleep begins to improve - even gradually - many parents notice a shift not just in their energy, but in how they feel emotionally too.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Maternal mental health matters.

And no one should feel like they have to navigate this stage on their own.

Support can look like someone holding the baby while you rest, a conversation where you finally feel heard, or simply the reassurance that what you're doing is enough. It doesn't have to be complicated - it just has to feel calm, not overwhelming.

Talking openly about how you're feeling is not a weakness - it's a step towards feeling better supported.

A Gentle Reminder This Maternal Mental Health Week

If you needed to hear this:

You are not 'getting it wrong' by comforting your baby. You are not creating bad habits by responding to them. You are allowed to trust yourself.

When sleep starts to feel heavy, support can help

If sleep is feeling like a struggle right now, and it’s starting to impact how you’re feeling day to day, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

I offer gentle, personalised sleep support that works with your baby - and supports you too.

You can explore that here → www.teachtosleep.co.uk/1-1-consultations