"How Can I Get My Partner More Involved In Baby's Sleep ?"

As a baby and toddler sleep consultant, this is one of the questions I am most frequently asked.

It’s easy to fall into the routine of one parent (often the breastfeeding parent) taking full responsibility for bedtime and night wakings. But if you’d like to share the load, it’s absolutely possible.

Whether you’re preparing to go back to work, want more flexibility in the evenings, or simply need more rest, involving your partner in your baby’s sleep routine can make a big difference. Studies even show that babies may sleep better when both parents are actively involved.

Here’s how to get started.

1. Communicate Openly About Sleep Responsibilities

It’s very common for couples to disagree about sleep — especially when you’re both exhausted and emotions are high. Honest communication is key.

Talk about:

• How you’re both feeling about the current sleep setup.

• Which areas your partner could take on (bedtime, resettling, morning wake-ups, etc.).

• What your sleep philosophies are — so you stay consistent.

This shared understanding will make the transition smoother and reduce conflict.

2. Share the Bedtime Routine

Bedtime is a great place to start when involving your partner. Try doing the routine together for a few nights so your baby gets used to both of you being present.

Gradually hand over steps like:

• Bath time

• Baby massage

• Putting on pyjamas

• Reading a bedtime story or singing a lullaby

Eventually, your partner can manage the entire bedtime routine alone.

💡 Tip: If your baby protests when your partner does bedtime, try leaving the house. When you’re not nearby, your baby learns to accept comfort from your partner more easily — and your partner gains confidence too.

3. Experiment With Night Wakings

If your baby still wakes frequently, start small. Let your partner respond to the first waking of the night (when sleep is deepest).

If that doesn’t go smoothly, try the early-morning shift instead — around 4–6 a.m. Your partner can hold baby, do skin-to-skin, or use a sling for a walk so you can catch up on sleep.

Encourage them to find what works best — rocking, singing, contact sleep, or babywearing. These are all responsive ways to support sleep, not “bad habits.”

4. Adjust Roles if Your Baby Only Wants You

If your baby still won’t settle for your partner, you haven’t failed. Some babies are simply more sensitive and may need more time before they can adapt.

Your partner can still play a vital role by supporting you, such as:

• Handling bedtime for older children

• Doing nappy changes or winding baby overnight

• Taking morning shifts so you can rest

• Managing household tasks or meal prep

Even small changes can make a big difference to your energy and mood.

5. Be Patient — This Is a Transition for Everyone

Sharing sleep responsibilities is a learning process for all three of you. Celebrate small wins, and remember that consistency pays off.

Over time, your baby will become more comfortable being settled by your partner, giving you both a better balance — and more rest.

Need More Support Getting Your Partner More Involved in Your Baby's Sleep?

If you’d like personalised help with night weaning or getting your partner more involved in your baby’s sleep, explore my gentle online sleep courses or 1:1 packages.